You are ending a session, and the client asks “just one more question.” It may be an important question that deserves a thoughtful response. You feel forced to answer in a rushed manner. It is common to feel annoyed that the client is not organized enough to ask important questions earlier.
Time is the coin of your life.
It is the only coin you have,
and only you can determine how it will be spent.
Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.Carl Sandberg
Feeling inadequate means you are inadequate
at what you are focused on.
The best way to address these “doorknob questions” is to prevent them with careful agenda-setting earlier in the session. This can be done on the phone when the appointment is scheduled as well as at the beginning of the time together. For example, whether you or someone else sets up the appointment, at a minimum the client is asked for the primary reason for the consultation. For follow-up sessions, refer to your notes about what you and the client agreed to cover this time.
As the session begins, bring up the topic you understand is most important and also ask the client what she hopes to accomplish today. Summarize what you have heard and ask if there is anything else. This may elicit the miscellaneous questions early so you can take them into account. When the client assures you that you have heard all of what she hopes for, prioritize and agree on what you will work on today. For example, “So you came today wanting to begin a weight-loss plan. You have questions about prepared foods and how to read labels. The question you most want answered right away is about the cleanse plan your friend used. I would be glad to give you my opinion about that and then we will see how much time we have to begin with your other concerns.” For more ideas on this agenda-setting process, see Tip #4, Asking Your Client for Ideas and Direction, available in the Practice Workbook, Vol 1.
When you know that it will be impossible to answer all of the client’s questions in one session, mention this early. For example, “I hear that you were not surprised by the doctor saying you are pre-diabetic since it runs in your family and your main concern today is to learn what the most important changes you can make are. You also have lots of questions about eating out. I know we can get to the general changes that will be most powerful in keeping your blood sugar down. We can begin to talk about eating out, but I know we will only get so far with that and need to continue that at another visit or I can point you to some resources online.” This kind of preamble sets you up for respectfully winding up before the client has all her questions answered.
No matter how carefully you set the agenda and prioritize, some clients will still ask doorknob questions. It is difficult to handle this situation because you and the client are in different phases. You are winding up the session, and the client is still engaged in getting needs met. When you answer the question, you shift back into the session with the client and have to work to wind up again. If instead you acknowledge the question while staying in wrap-up mode, this allows a smoother transition to ending. By doing this, you are asking the client to accept disappointment for now. (See Tips #58, Grief in Nutrition Counseling, and #21, Time Boundaries, available in the Practice Workbook, Vol 1.) Making this explicit may help. For example, “You wonder which canned and frozen products are OK. I wish we had time to cover everything today. It is disappointing that our time is up. That is an important question, and I want to make sure we have adequate time to address it.” Finally, schedule another time to address the topic: “When we meet next month, let’s start with that.”
If an ongoing client asks doorknob questions almost every time, it will be useful to address the issue. There are many possible reasons for this pattern. Here are some:
- The client may find it uncomfortable to end this positive contact with you. A simple empathetic reflection is in order here.
- The topic may be difficult or scary, and the client is hoping you don’t have time to address it fully. Acknowledge the topic and either suggest discussing it with a more appropriate person (therapist, pastor, doctor) or bring it up yourself at the beginning of the next session.
- The client may have difficulty directing attention consistently and therefore simply forget questions when prompted at the beginning of the session. If you have an ongoing relationship with this client, you could work with him to problem-solve how to direct attention to the most important topics first.
After the session, you may be left with an unfinished feeling. You know you did not fully address the client’s needs today. This is unsettling. Take a moment to return to neutral for the next client. This may mean documenting the unaddressed questions or making a note to address this topic or this pattern next time. If the client has a therapist, bring up the pattern and ask for ideas on how to address it. A deep, sighing breath may allow you to let go of your disappointment.